Cake and Ice Cream

Last week was eventful.

With T's birthday quickly approaching, we still hadn't resolved the prospective pet situation. While we had pretty much convinced everyone that a dog was not in the cards for us, T still wanted something "alive that she could hold."

Oy. I just wasn't up for it. I thought about it ALL the time. After much discussion we convinced T to just go with a Build-A-Bear this time around. My final stance on a pet was, "I'm not saying no forever, I'm just saying no right now."

So the Saturday before her birthday we went to an arcade/fun park, to dinner and to Build-A-Bear. The camera was snuggled warm in bed at home.

On Monday, I received my college diploma in the mail. HOORAH! Cap and gown is ordered, and yes, I am going to milk this accomplishment for all it's worth. My diligence in school the past couple of years even made up enough for my BOMB semester in the year 2000 to achieve the status of "Cum Laude."

On T's actual birthday we played things pretty chill. We surprised her with (pan)cake and ice cream for breakfast. Everybody got up earlier than usual because T had orchestra that morning, which starts an hour before R has to be to school.

I love those early morning eyes usually reserved for Christmas morning photos.

I took cupcakes to school for T to share with her classmates and then I made her a cake.

T was thrilled with the oh-so-pinkness of it and I was deemed "the best mom ever." Sweet.

Dinner of T's choice was chinese noodle salad, and then we kept on cakin' it up.

Now my little girl is 9. She's becoming much more self aware, and I see that it won't be long before we trade in teddy bears and pigtails for Justin Bieber and braces. It makes my heart ache just a little, but mostly I'm excited for the self discovery that's in store for T. She's such a sensitive little thing, the gauntlet of adolescence might be a rough go for her, but she's also such a warm ray of sunshine, she's sure to better the lives of those around her. She's meant for great things.

Just a few days later, DH and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. While DH's dad took the kids to Disney on Ice, we stopped by the Home Show, then had lunch at Joe's Crab Shack. Seafood isn't DH's favorite, but I have oodles of fun cracking open crab legs and mining for meat. I think any meal that requires a bib for adults is thumbs up. We even had enough time to catch a matinee movie, and DH's dad had to deal with drippy snow cones and tired toddlers for a while. Aahh. It was a great day.

(Cell phone photo)

The Great Dog Debate

Every kid wants a dog, right?

They want the cute little puppy, floppy ears, soft bodies. They think, "I can feed a dog!" and "I can walk a dog!"

They don't think so much about, "I can clean up doggy pee out of the carpet," and "I can let a dog chew up my shoes."

I was no different. When my neighbor's dog gave birth to cocker spaniel puppies when I was somewhere in the 3rd grade age, I begged and begged my parents to let me have one. I made all the standard promises of how I would love and care for the dog.

The problem was, I didn't know anything about dogs, and while my parents were willing to own the thing, they didn't want it in the house. That poor animal howled in its pen in the backyard and I rarely went out to play with it. I wanted to, but the truth was, she was super excitable, growing rapidly, and when she was out of her pen, I had no idea what to do with her. I liked her, but, other than putting a cupful of food in her bowl, I didn't know how to take care of her. I didn't understand how to play with her, and when she jumped up on me, or ran away sporadically, I was at a total loss. I came to regret the decision, as I'm sure did my parents. A few months and one classified ad later she was gone, and probably to a much more loving situation.

DH and I have always been clear that we would be a non-dog family. Who wants that responsibility? It's not that we don't like dogs, we just don't want the extra work. Admittedly, I even took smug satisfaction in looking down my nose at all those schmucks who'd strapped themselves down with that burden. When T begged, we told her with no uncertainty that we would never have a dog.

Then one day, a few months back, after watching several friends go from non-dog to pro-dog families, I wondered, just for fun, what kind of dog I would get if I were to get one. "It can't be too yappy and teeny," I would say, "but also not so big that it can't sit on my lap." For funsies I started looking at different breeds, researching temperaments (why did I ever get a cocker spaniel?), reading pros/cons lists. I listened as my friends, even in their exasperation of another spot on the floor, praised their puppies, saying it's totally worth it to them.

I still didn't want one, I said. I just felt better informed.

T started laying heavily into her campaign for a pet. She knew dogs were out of the question and pled daily for a hamster. I groaned and thought, "I think I'd rather have a dog than a hamster!"

That gave me pause (paws?). I'd rather have a dog than a hamster? A dog is a zillion times more work than a hamster. But it seemed like you got a zillion times the reward. Dogs love you. Better than any other animal a dog will always love you.

65% of American homes have a dog. Why? If it's such a pain, why are so many people doing it?

So I sort of started doing more and more research, getting to understand canine mentality, training methods. I found I wanted to stay up at night to watch youtube videos, read doggie forums.

I got a book at the library.

Oh my goodness. I wanted a dog. All my 3rd grade enthusiasm was back. I wanted that ball of fur to love me, to go on walks with me. I longed to be a master, to train a little puppy to follow my commands. I was comforted by the idea that in three years, when all my kids are at school and I spend hours alone in this house, I'd have a companion.

DH was chagrined by my change of heart, but, true to form, willing to consider the possibility. He likes to make people happy.

I had narrowed down the breeds I liked down to two or three, though I understood that each had its drawbacks.

Long story shorter, we picked a puppy, named him, bought all the stuff for him. He was a little male pug we named Harvey and the kids were so excited, T especially. We went to visit him and committed to a day to pick him up.

I found the visit unsettling, however. There was a lot of shed hair at the owner's house and DH was clearly not enthused. He was willing, but he didn't really want to do it. I posted on FB about the possibility, and received comments and emails that again gave me pause (paws?).

I started to get cold feet. I still wanted the dog, but I feared how having a dog might change my relationships. Would people now see me as the schmuck strapped down with a burden? Would people not want to come to my house? Would our families resent the dog?

Would DH?

Would I?

I cried all night and cancelled the dog in the morning. We hadn't paid for him yet and he was easily placed later that day.

It was a good decision, I said. No potty training. No worrying about what to do with a dog when we travel. No extra expense. No hair on my couch. DH was visibly relieved.

So my question is, if it's such a good decision, why do I still want one?