May Your Days Be Merry and Bright

Here are some of my favorites from out latest photo session with TLee. It was COLD, so the session was quick. I think she did a great job at capturing personalities.

Friday Flashback

As I sat reflecting on Christmases past I generated a memory I hadn't thought of in quite some time.

Middle school was a tough time for me, as I believe it is for most kids. That transformation from innocence to self-awareness is brutal. Looking back, I realize that I began exhibiting some of my depressive tendencies as early as the sixth grade, which is when this flashback took place.

I found sixth grade to be a difficult sea to navigate. I now had five separate teachers instead of just one. Several pools of elementary school kids had been dumped into one big lake and I was out of my comfort zone. I became extraordinarily self-conscious. Boys were suddenly becoming quite fascinating. Homework was being assigned. I had to ride the bus. It was all new territory.

I remember one December day walking into my art class and inexplicably beginning to cry. I was overwhelmed by my emotions and honestly didn't understand them. All I knew was that I couldn't control it. It was extremely embarrassing. I've had that feeling many times since and understand that this is sometimes how I react to stress. Whatever the case, my teacher noticed my tears and ushered me out into the hallway. She was very concerned. Tenderly, she asked me what was wrong.

I didn't know.

That made me feel very stupid. At the time I didn't know how to articulate that I just felt sad. Or overwhelmed, or whatever it was that had brought on the waterworks. She was looking for a reason and I felt obligated to give her one.

So I lied. I don't know where I came up with this response, but I told her I was sad because I didn't have any money to buy my family Christmas presents. I mean, we're talking real Hallmark movie kind of stuff. I was amazed and embarrassed at my lie, but she totally bought it.

The truth is, I don't think that up to that point I had given any thought to giving my family Christmas presents. They were supposed to give to me, right? Who really expects presents from their sixth grader? I was pretty sure this was not actually what I was sad about.

But oh, did it make me appear the noble, poverty-stricken child. My teacher, who no doubt looked at this as a golden opportunity to really make a difference in some poor child's life, helped me come up with a project to make to give to my family for Christmas. She waived all my school assignments for the next week so that I could work on my "gift" during class. I ended up using a projector to magnify a little Precious Moments angel picture onto a poster board, which I then traced and tinted with colored chalk. It turned out okay, but I thought Precious Moments were kind of dumb and I really didn't know what my parents were going to do with this big poster. When I first told my little fib I had thought my teacher would pat my shoulder and send me back to class. I felt guilty (and, I'll admit it, a tad smug) working on this project in class, not having to do the regular assignments and receiving special treatment, based on a lie.

I was embarrassed to give my parents the poster. I didn't like it, and I didn't think they would like it, but I felt obligated to do it. I don't remember what happened to it. They probably hung it up somewhere and then threw it away after a while. I remember looking back on the whole experience and finding it bizarre, thinking, "man, how did that happen?"

As I've aged I've come to recognize when my feelings are not necessarily connected to rational stimulus. I've had public breakdowns that are no less embarrassing, but I'm at least able to express that I'm just responding to stress and those around me should just be patient until I can calm myself down.

Of course, sometimes I really truly am upset about something.

So I'm grateful for that compassionate teacher who did her best to not brush off what looked to her like a genuinely distraught student. Even though I totally played her, I'm glad for the experience because it taught me that there are good teachers out there who really do care about the kids they teach.

I hope that lady is having a Merry Christmas somewhere. I can't even remember her name.

Product Review

I get positive comments about my product reviews, so I figured we were due for another.

When we and our friends went on our Santa Barbara trip in September we were on the search for tasty snacks, disregarding health content completely. We picked up some Keebler Cheesecake Middles at the grocery store, and I have to say I was pretty impressed. These are pretty high class cookies for being Keebler. If you like the flavor of cheesecake, I highly recommend giving these a try. They aren't gourmet, but they seem to fill a cheap dessert niche that was open in the market. Just don't look at the caloric value and you'll be a happy camper.



And on those occasions when you feel like making cookies instead of buying them, I must tell you that Doughmakers pans are the only way I roll when it comes to baked goods. These are more pricey than your average cookie sheet or pie tin, but they make everything come out perfectly, distributing heat evenly and never burning the bottom of your goods. The secret, apparently, is in the pebbled texture, which somehow provides perfect cookies, rolls, biscuits and pie crusts. They come in a variety of pan shapes. I've got a small cookie sheet, a large cookie sheet and two pie tins. I got hooked on them when DH worked at that specialty kitchen store when we were first married. Hint: Hand washing them keeps them much nicer much longer.




Growing up, holidays always meant having nuts in the house. But they eventually went home. Ba-doom-Ching! But seriously folks, my family likes to eat nuts. My mom always bought big bags of mixed nuts still in their shells and would put them out on the table with nutcrackers. I was always frustrated because my favorites were Brazil nuts and those suckers were tough to crack! These days I leave the work to the nut companies and buy all my nuts shelled. I really enjoy almonds, and usually have raw almonds on hand. They're a great source of protein and healthy fats. I splurged one day, however, when I found Emerald brand Cocoa Roast Almonds. It's like having chocolate covered almonds without feeling like you're eating candy. They aren't as sweet as chocolate covered almonds and preserve more of the almond flavor. I find them delightful, but only a few at a time. The cocoa starts losing its savor if you eat them in large quantities. This is a definite must-try if you're a nut lover.


I told DH a while back that I really wanted a new wallet for Christmas. The one I was using had originally been purchased as a temporary placeholder until I found another one I really liked, but I ended up using it for several years. My little E, a.k.a. "The Destroyer," was constantly finding it and scattering all my valuable items about. I found this cute wallet on Etsy and although I found $12.00 a little pricey, I like supporting small businesses and having hand-made items. I ended up just buying it for myself and I've been using it for a couple of months now. The change needed to happen before Christmas. The things I love about it are that it links onto my keys so A) my vital items are always together B)I don't lose my keys as easily and C) E can't undo the snap. DH was concerned that I wouldn't like it because it would mean my wallet was always hitting my knee as it hung off my keys while I drove, but it doesn't bother me. The only downside might be that it only has one pocket, so my drivers license, credit cards and cash are all shoved in the slot together, but that hasn't proven to be a problem. So far the pros outweigh the cons, and the seller sent it promptly, so that was a plus. If you like this wallet she has has huge selection in a variety of cute fabrics.

Because my sister owns a salon, I get most of my haircare products from her. However, sometimes if I can't drive the hour to see her or I want to use less expensive products on my kids, I opt for things I can get at the grocery store. I like aerosol hairspray, and figured Aussie brand would be better quality than something like White Rain or Suave (which turn to white flakes in your hair and don't hold well) without breaking the bank. Well, this hairspray holds well and smells really good. The only problem is that the nozzle is so crappy I now have a 1/3 of a can left that I'll never use becuase I can't dispense it! Every now and then aerosol nozzles get a little clogged and you have to clean them, but this can is clogged somewhere within the internal mechanism of the nozzle. Not a bad product, Aussie, but get a better can!

So, as I mentioned in a previous post, I started a new antidepressant. I've been on it for over a month now and things are going okay. I seem to be fairly emotionally balanced (hey, I made it through Thanksgiving, Finals and four weeks of my kids being off track without a major breakdown) but there are physical side effects. I'm super tired, I don't sleep well, I get acne breakouts and I feel just the slightest bit nauseated most of the time. This last is not entirely bad. I have dropped a couple of pounds just because food doesn't sound as good to me. I'm not exercising currently ,(did I mention these meds make me super tired) but I'm just not eating as much. Unfortunately, however, one of the items that I have the greatest aversion to is water. Yes, life-sustaining, completely necessary H2O. There have been days I go to bed realizing I've had nothing to drink all day. Needless to say, this is not healthy. Soda has even lost its appeal for me, which isn't a bad thing. Fruity flavored juices are usually what I turn to, but those calories add up fast. My favorite drink is SoBe Cranberry Grapefruit, but at 260 calories a bottle, I can't afford to indulge in that very often. My favorite zero calorie drink right now is Yumberry Pomegranate SoBe Lifewater. I'm still trying to drink water when I can, but the Lifewater helps me stay more hydrated than I normally would be. It's great tasting without being too sweet, like what Gatorade wants to be but isn't.

*My bonus review today is a post script to a previous product review. Some of you will remember the discussion about dishwasher soap. I had tried Costco liquid and found it lacking. Many of you suggested Cascade and some of you said you liked the power packs. I got a package of these and found that it was leaving gritty residue behind and often white powdery streaks. It was worse than the liquid! I then purchased some rinse aid and refilled the dispenser and now those power packs are working great. So, it has been established that the Cascade power packs are good ONLY if you have a full dispenser of rinse aid.

I Flip My Latkes in the Air Sometimes

This post is dedicated to my 5 year old nephew r who apparently thinks we should be celebrating Hanukkah in addition to Christmas.

I found this video particularly entertaining for the following reasons:
- It provides educational info concerning Jewish religious beliefs
- The music is catchy and I love to work out to the original song of which this is a parody, Dynamite.
- I can appreciate me some good A Cappella.
- I found out that the first soloist is a poster on a web forum I used to frequent. So I almost almost know him.




Hopefully this serves as a good content substitute for my blog this week as I'm up to my eyeballs in finals. Four more days. I think I can. I think I can.